Memories: Golf’s Cruelest Trick

Golf Green Island
(Photo credit: jurvetson)

My wife and I both agree that there were only three things in my life that ever really made me angry. Other than these tormentors, I have always been a pretty calm character.

First, there was my 20-year-old daughter. Well, she’s 20 years old now, but she’s not the one that drove me crazy. It was the teenage version of her that drove me crazy. She’s grown into a fine young woman and we get along quite well now.

The second thing that drove me crazy was the play of my sports teams. Sometimes they did the stupidest things even though I’d instructed them, via yelling at them on the TV, to do otherwise. Why wouldn’t they listen?

The third thing that drove me crazy was golf. Before I became disabled I was a decent athlete. I could run fast and jump high. I could hit and catch a ball, and make a basket. In high school I was a three sport athlete (football, basketball or indoor track, outdoor track). I also played a passable game of tennis and ping pong. After having a billiard table in my basement for a few years I could hold my own at pool. But golf? I could never understand that game, except one day a long time ago…

Our daughter Amy was born in May of 1989, well before my MS diagnosis. One Sunday morning that summer I took my turn with the 4:30 a.m. bottle feeding. I put Amy back in her crib at around 5:00 and prepared to return to bed myself. But I had just purchased a golf membership at the local 9-hole course, and it was a beautiful morning, so instead I quietly snuck out of the house and headed for the golf course.

When I got to the course nobody was there. The clubhouse was dark and quiet, but that was not a problem. The flags were in the holes and I had a membership, so I set out to play.

The first hole was a par four. I have no idea what I scored on it, but likely something well over par. The second hole was a 172 yard par three. I pulled out my 3 iron (this is evidence to any experienced golfer that I was a neophyte since the standard club for this length shot is more like a 5 iron, and Tiger would use an 8 iron if his wife is not chasing him with it). My tee shot went straight and rather low, as is standard for a well struck 3 iron.

The hole was cut just over a ridge in the green, so that I could not actually see the cup from the tee box. Most of the flag stick was visible, just not the last couple of inches and the cup itself. I was pleased with my shot because it appeared to have landed either close to the front of the green or on the green itself. I put my three iron back in my bag and trudged down the fairway.

As I approached the green I was a little disappointed. The ball was neither in front of the green nor on the green, so it must have run past the putting surface. There were some shrubs behind the green, and I started looking under those shrubs for my missing ball.

Then it happened. Remember, it was very early in the morning, just after sunrise, so there was still a heavy dew on the green. I stood there in disbelief as I noticed a curved track in the dew, running from the front of the green into the center of the cup, as clear as if it had been drawn by the finger of God himself. I shook my head in disbelief.

I approached the cup and dared to peer down into it. There was my ball. I had made a hole-in-one. Instinctively, I looked up and surveyed my surroundings in preparation for sharing this glorious moment with my fellow golfers. Let the congratulatory hand shaking and back slapping begin! But there was not another human being in sight. Well, that was not exactly correct. I could see the owner stirring up near the clubhouse. I left my golf bag beside the green and jogged up to where he was cleaning off the golf carts.

“Good morning, Jim.”

“Good morning, Mitch.”

“Jim, I have a problem.”

“What? Is it the mosquitoes?”

“No,” I chuckled, “I just shot a hole-in-one and I have no witnesses. But I can prove it to you if you’ll just come with me for a minute.”

We got in a golf cart and headed off for the second green.

For those of you who are not familiar with golf etiquette, holes-in-one really only count if they are witnessed. Otherwise any unscrupulous, attention-seeking hack could claim he hit one when nobody was watching. I was a hack, but I was of the scrupulous variety.

When we arrived at the second green I was pleased to see that the dew, and the evidence it possessed, was still intact. I told Jim my story and asked him if he believed me.

“I believe you Mitch.”

That didn’t make my hole-in-one completely legitimate, but it was better than nothing. I never got another ace, witnessed or not, even though I golfed for about 15 more frustrating years.

In a sense this was the cruelest trick golf ever played on me, and it played some really cruel ones. To allow me a hole-in-one, but without a witnesses…ah, touché golf. Well played.

MS really sucks. But there are one or two silver linings. MS gets the credit for finally making me a quit a game that cost me too much money, caused me to spend too much time away from my family, and left me miserable more often than not. Unfortunately, MS took all those other sports away from me as well.

So as I mentioned above, my daughter no longer drives me crazy. Scratch that one off the list. My MS had made it impossible for me to continue golfing. Scratch that one too. What’s left?

If the Patriots and Red Sox can just win every game they play for the rest of my life…no, wait, that’s not enough…if the Patriots and Red Sox will never make even a minor mistake in any game they ever play for the rest of my life, then I’ll have nothing in this world that makes me angry.

(I’m aware of how well I just set up the Boston sports haters…have at it in the comments section, Louie).

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A New Theory about the Root Cause of MS- Chronic Cerebrospinal Venous Insufficiency (CCSVI)

One of the frustrating realities of living with MS is that nobody has a clue as to its root cause. It’s hard to imagine that a cure is on the horizon when we don’t even understand why the disease exists. It seems that for the past 50 years neurologists have been telling newly diagnosed MS patients that the cure is “about 10 years away.” Sure it is.

There have been a lot of root cause theories presented over the years. None have survived the scrutiny of time and truth. This one probably won’t either, but who knows?

An Italian doctor by the name of Paolo Zamboni has discovered a correlation between MS and restricted flow in the veins that drain the central nervous system. Furthermore, he has used angioplasty to open up these restrictions in the veins of some MS patients, with apparent success. Dr. Michael Dake, of the Stanford School of Medicine, has been placing stents in the veins of MS patients, with similar success but also with more complications, a couple of them serious. Many patients of both doctors have stopped getting worse and started getting better.

Click here to watch an inspirational piece produced by CTV that does an excellent job of describing Dr. Zamboni’s CCSVI work. I find the tone of the piece a bit too optimistic, but again, who knows?

What is my take on CCSVI? I think the final answer will lie somewhere on a continuum between total fraud and a miracle cure. Here are three of the possible outcomes:

1.  Further independent studies by other researchers fail to replicate Dr. Zamboni’s results. CCSVI is thrown on the trash heap of failed MS breakthroughs, which is becoming a very tall heap indeed.

For me, unfortunately, this is the least desirable but most likely scenario. I don’t base this opinion on the facts of the case as much as I do on my experience as a long-suffering MS patient. Most great ideas simply do not pan out.

2. Some researchers are able to correlate some CCSVI cases with some MS cases. CCSVI continues to be studied, and a subset of the MS population benefits from new procedures developed to open up the stenosis (flow restrictions) in these veins.  More specifically, if only some MS patients benefit, it seems likely that it will be the more common relapsing remitting group, rather than the primary progressive group. This is a trend in MS treatment.

In my humble opinion, this is the second most likely outcome, and the second-most desirable one. Again, this is based on a gut feel from me, not a scientific argument for or against CCSVI.

3. Dr. Zamboni’s findings are confirmed by independent researchers. CCSVI is identified as the primary cause of multiple sclerosis. The world of MS research and treatment is turned upside down. We stop concentrating on developing new and expensive drugs that only treat the symptoms or secondary causes of MS. Doctors develop safe and effective ways to repair CCSVI in patients. Eventually, when a young person who would otherwise have been diagnosed with MS speaks with his or her doctor, the doctor will say something like, “We found the cause of your problems. It is a condition called CCSVI. In the past it was referred to as multiple sclerosis. I scheduled a procedure for you next week. Since we found this early we should be able to easily repair it, and you should have no lasting effects. Have a nice day, and a nice life.”

Naturally, I consider this the most desirable and least likely outcome of the CCSVI saga. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful thing though?

Just to clarify, even if scenario 3 comes to be, people like me who have already suffered significant damage to our central nervous systems will not see much, if any, improvement in our current conditions. We would simply stop getting worse. I need to stop getting worse, like, yesterday. Getting better can wait.

So, given all this information, what actions am I taking personally? I may very well subject myself to an experimental repair of a theoretical condition well before others might find it prudent to do so, simply because I’m on the doorstep of becoming a complete invalid. My risk/reward appetite is skewed away from the conservative and toward the aggressive, and I believe that to be appropriate given my circumstances.  I’ll try not to do something obviously stupid, but too much patience or indecision in this situation will yield a very predictable result.

Right now, as unlikely as I find CCSVI theory to be, it’s the best option I see out there, today.
 

Here are some more resources on CCSVI:

See my subsequent post  CCSVI- Is this the calm before the storm?

For a more detailed and very balanced discussion about CCSVI, see this overview by a fellow blogger:

http://www.wheelchairkamikaze.com/2009/11/ccsvi-vascular-theory-of-ms-separating.html

A comprehensive website put together by an MS patient, tying to gather together many of the online resources dealing with CCSVI:

http://healingpowernow.com/

A link to a study being done at the Buffalo Neuroimaging Analysis Center, attempting to confirm the findings of Dr. Zamboni:

http://www.bnac.net/?page_id=517

A link to the original publication of Dr. Zamboni’s findings:

http://jnnp.bmj.com/content/80/4/392.full

A patient message board, called This Is MS, where the subject is discussed in great detail:
http://www.thisisms.com/forum-40.html

Dr. Zamboni will publish a second paper any day now. I’ll put that link here when it is available:  Here it is:

http://www.ctv.ca/generic/WebSpecials/pdf/YMVA_4198_Zamboni_final.pdf

A Canadian Broadcasting Company piece on the University of Buffalo study (added 12/16/09)

http://www.cbc.ca/video/news/player.html?clipid=1359955050

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